A Publication of the Reconciling Congregation Program at Trinity United Methodist Church
Volume 1, Number 6 - April/May 2000
A Publication of the Reconciling Congregation Program at Trinity United Methodist Church
Volume 1, Number 6 - April/May 2000
Enlightenment -
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It's been a long, exhausting journey. Is it over? I don't know. All I can say is that I have at last accepted homosexuality as a given portion in the diverse mix we call humanity. Viewing my past in the most favorable light, I would say that I have not been as accepting of homosexual men and women as I might have been, and I now regret that.
What brought about this change? Taking the time to observe and then admitting the obvious difference in people. Conversations with those who were for and against, especially Sid Hall. But most of all, my friendship with a gay man since retirement.
He and I accidentally met one day, and I discovered that he had the gift that the little church, which I was serving as interim pastor, so desperately needed. When I asked if he would be interested, he replied, "Only if I can first meet with the PPR Committee and tell them who I am and that I am gay." He did, and in a very honest way told them the story of his life, answering every question in the most open and forthright manner. The committee was so impressed with him that all their anxieties were allayed.
He not only became my coworker, but my friend as well. I admire him greatly for his honesty and integrity and most of all for his deep, deep faith in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He is a loving person, who refuses to harbor animosity toward anyone.
For me, he is a mirror in which I see myself as the needy one and the window through which I have come to view all other homosexual men and women. I no longer find a homosexual person threatening or unacceptable, but like all other human beings, some with whom I can connect and we easily become friends and others with whom it is difficult.
Having arrived at this place, I feel so much better about myself. I am so happy to be able to relate to gay men and women as fully human and to love them just as they are, as I pray they are able to relate to me and love me just as I am.
With good humor some of my friends ridicule me because I'm always saying, "Why can't we just love one another?" Simplistic? I don't know. But that's O.K. I know when I am my best self. It's when I remember God loves me-my unloveable self-just as I am, and forgives me every day of all my sin and invites me to go forth and "love everyone as I have loved you." So what right do I have to judge anyone? Next time you see me, will you remind me of that? I never want to be without that truth foremost in my mind and heart.
What is most gratifying about being the pastor of St. Stephen UMC, Mesquite, is that the ministry of the laity is taken very seriously.
Following an enriching two year process struggling with our understanding of ministry to all persons, especially gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender persons and their families, the leadership of the congregation called the church to respond out of its own tradition of openness and inclusiveness.
There is a spirit in the congregation that encourages me to pursue my own public witness and that of the church in the community, the North Texas Conference, and beyond.
I feel great satisfaction in knowing that there are people in our area who have responded in positive ways to St. Stephen as a visible symbol of hope in the Mesquite/Garland area.
As a church, we have discovered that silence is complicity and that there is a need for justice in ways we had not been aware of before. The work outside our walls is difficult, but rewarding; slow, but moving. The joy of being part of a process of information, invitation, and liberation is a great joy unlike any other I have experienced before.
Several months ago, a friend from a church I had served many years back called for an appointment. Eager to renew his friendship, I set a day and a time for our meeting.
A week later, we met again. We talked about the years that had passed since we had last visited. Our children, who were elementary age, were now adults with children of their own. He talked about two of his three children and told me all about their present life. Then, he said, "Now, let me tell you about my son, "Robert."
Robert, he proudly began, is now a very well respected physician living in the Pacific Northwest. Prior to his present location, he had taught in a major medical school in the mid-west. Then, he decided to relocate.
My friend and his wife had just returned from their first visit with Robert since he had moved to his new home. While they were there, one afternoon, Robert took them sight-seeing. Upon their return home that evening, they had dinner and relived the great day they had all enjoyed.
Just before they "called it a day," Robert said: "We need to talk." Then, he told them about the son they had always loved, but were now to know in a new way. "I am Gay. I love you both more than I can put into words, and I don't want to hurt you. But, I can no longer live pretending to be something I am not. Tomorrow, after I get home from work, we'll talk more."
That night, my friend and his wife, did not sleep. They were devastated. But--the next afternoon, they listened to Robert telling them of the life-long struggle he had endured trying to be "like everyone else." Finally, he learned to accept himself, to love himself and most of all--to be proud of himself, a gay man.
My friend told me, "My wife and I love Robert. He is the same wonderful son we have always known and we grieve that we did not know him for the man he truly is."
Then, he asked me a question: "Is there a church where Robert can go and be the wonderful person he is and not have to hide the truth from others. Is there a place where he can be himself?"
This story is just one of countless encounters I have had. It is my hope that my friend's question about a church for Robert will someday be answered by the United Methodist Church moving to say to all the Roberts and Janes and their parents, friends, and loved ones:
"Yes, We United Methodists welcome you and accept you into the full rights, privileges and ministries of our Church."
You, who are delegates to this General Conference, can bring about such a church.
What Being the Pastor of a Reconciling Congregation Means to me. It means that I had the privilege of taking a journey with my congregation to the sacred place called community.
It means that we can never go back to the kind of surface courtesy which we too often pretend is real love.
It means that I have a better detector for stereotypes of all kinds. It means that we have to write new chapters every year about how to do program ministry in a diverse congregation.
It means that people who used to be acutely wounded are now well enough to care for those in the congregation who are now acutely wounded.
It means that the core values of patient love, non-judgmental accountability and turning outward to serve are everything and doctrinal rigidity has no place.
It means that we hope and pray that John Wesley would have been pleased with our ministry, but will forge ahead with courage even if we are led to believe he wouldn't be pleased.
In a congregation-wide meeting lasting over two hours, Trinity United Methodist Church voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. We were the second in Texas and, so far, the only one in Southwest Texas. After everyone had left that night and all the doors were locked, I sat down on the outside steps and cried. I had just witnessed the most powerful, painful, and beautiful church gathering in my life. Although I don't want to diminish the three years of study, prayer, struggle, and education we had prior to the vote, I realize just how naÔve I was in thinking that the hard work of the gospel had been done. Our next few years would prove to be the real test, but also the deepest fulfillment.
I thought voting to be a Reconciling Congregation was foremost about the commitment to be an inclusive congregation. However, inclusiveness was just the first step in our spiritual journey together. The deeper commitment lies in how we answer a theological question: Is it possible to truly celebrate the diversity of God's creation by living together in a diverse community? What I have eventually come to realize is that the commitment of a bunch of mostly straight people to include within its fellowship as full participants, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Christians is only the first (but important) very inadequate step. The next step is to really lean on each other. I don't think I figured out till after we became a Reconciling Congregation and lived with it awhile that being Reconciling is not just a matter of welcoming people in a sexual minority, but that straight people needed out gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people to be complete themselves. Paul said that if any part of the body thinks it doesn't need another part, it is diminishing itself too. The Body of Christ needs all of us, and not just in the way that society or the organized church constitutes, but also in the great and wonderful diversity we are created. This is the powerful and wonderful truth I now understand that I didn't know before.
In the last eight years I have had the blessing of seeing a whole generation of children and youth grow up in the church with loving and out gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Christian mentors. I now have the confidence that for those children who turn out to be gay themselves, church will be a safe and loving place for them to grow into adulthood. For those children who turn out to be straight-which will be most them, of course--they will grow up to be unequivocal allies of lesbians and gays and will help foster the prophetic compassion of Jesus into a new generation of church leaders and Christians.
Being the pastor of Reconciling Congregation continues to be one of greatest gifts of my years in ministry. It is not always easy, particularly when the church at large tries to clamp down our ministries, but it is always fulfilling. Being a Reconciling Congregation is not always successful in changing the hearts and minds of people stuck in a heterosexist paradigm, but it is, I believe, the way of the heart and the way of Jesus Christ. What a blessing for this straight pastor still clueless about the oppression and pain of many of God's people, yet growing in God's liberative love through the graciousness of God's gay and lesbian Christians willing to hang in there with me and hang in there with a denomination that still chooses not to see their gayness as part of God's gift. Thanks be to God.
The "authority of Scripture and the nature of God's revelation" was officially the topic for a consultation in Nashville, Dec. 7-9, but as one participant observed, "the monster under the table" was homosexuality.
When the denomination's top legislative body meets May 2-12 in Cleveland, Rev. Bruce Robbins, staff executive for the Commission on Christian Unity, said it will be "yet another General Conference where homosexuality will be front and center in our discussions."
On one side of the division are people who believe proscriptions against homosexuality force them to participate in "exclusion and bigotry," Robbins said. On the other side are members who believe they are forced to support a church whose leaders and actions are an "offense to the gospel" because of their support for homosexual causes, he said. People in this group often point to a statement issued at the 1996 General Conference by 15 bishops who said they disagree with the church's official stance on homosexuality. The church's official policy in its Book of
Discipline includes a statement that "the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching."
Robbins expressed concern that people in the middle are feeling increasing pressure to move to one position or another, possibly leading to a split in the church. He wondered aloud how the Roman Catholic Church has avoided schism throughout its long history, and remarked that "splitting is a very Protestant solution."
Robbins said some in the church keep hoping that new evidence on homosexuality will emerge so that debate will no longer be an issue. Others hope that the issue will diminish, as it becomes less important to one side or the other, he said. "There is the thought that the liberals will give up or that the conservatives will be worn down," he said. Still others in the church hope the Holy Spirit will "move or convert" people in one direction or the other on the issue, he said.
Consultation participants did not develop a statement of consensus or a document of any kind, but they appeared to accept Robbins' general observations about the meeting and the issues related to homosexuality.
The Spark, vol. 1, no. 1
The Spark, vol. 1, no. 2
The Spark, vol. 1, no. 3
The Spark, vol. 1, no. 4
The Spark, vol. 1, no. 5
The Spark, vol. 2, no. 1
The Spark, vol. 2, no. 2
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This newsletter is an effort to bring to the public the stories of lesbian & gay Christians, their families & their allies. We look forward to a United Methodist Church that celebrates the full participation of all Christians in the Church.
